A Conversation with My inner Sad Girl

 

This time of year grows increasingly hard for me. This year is proving no different despite all the work I am doing to heal and grow. What is different this year is how I am taking care of my Sad Girl and giving her the grace she needs. The grief isn't any less but these conversations I can have with myself now help.  

 

This week I am struggling with my inner sad girl again. So, I sat with her and had a chat.

Me:

Sad Girl why are you sad?

SG:

I expected this year to be easier and I want to be so much further, I thought I would be by now. I feel like I'm failing, letting myself down.

Me:

Nothing is ever going to be easy about this time of year.  You have big goals, and have crushed them all along the way, which goals have you failed?

SG:

I just see the old me in the mirror again. I am afraid, scared, and hurting.

Me:

The old you will always be in the mirror, she is you. You have grown from that time and learned so much, now tell me about the other victories along the way.

SG:

I have learned how fragile my heart is and how much it needed my own love and kindness to find some healing. I have given myself the permission to keep promises to myself just as I do to others because I'm worth it too. I have learned I can do more than I thought possible.  I have learned how to fuel my body properly, not punish it by withholding, not reward with treats and junk.  I have learned to build my tribe to support me.  I have learned that I am not just alive but I am living too.  I have not given up on myself.

ME:

All of that shows you how you haven't failed, but how you have soared and come so far.  You may have fallen and failed before but you have always gotten back up.  You are not failing, you are still going, still taking care of yourself and that is wining. 

Take another look in the mirror and really look because the reflection you see has grown from the woman that was there, you are LIVING! You have come so far from where you were.

SG:

I am certainly a work in progress...inside and out.  Thank you for loving me through this. I needed ME through this more than I ever knew.