Twenty-two years ago I became a mother for the first time. I was given a beautiful baby with no instruction manual, but all the hope to guide her through this world.
This beautiful girl was placed in my arms and my heart filled with joy. My only focus was to be a great mother, but questioning everything along the way. I spent hours just holding her, singing songs to her, reading books, and pacing the floors for hours at a time to comfort her.
Brittany grew before my eyes and found her personality, as I watched her in awe. I traded in the baby snuggles for toddler time. We danced, sang, read more books, and watched what seemed like an eternity of Teletubbies shows. I spent time just watching her, seeing her discover new things, and being amazed by her light shining everyday.
Seeing the pride in her eyes as she became a big sister filled my heart and completed my world. Watching my girls grow together and become the very best of friends made my heart full.
Each time a new stage was reached, I celebrated her while still taking time to watch her turn into a young lady, which seemed like just moments. I would stop by her door some nights and watch her sleep, seeing her as the baby I once held in my arms.
Being the best mother I could through difficult times, was not easy but knowing everything I was doing was for my girls made me take deep breaths and make the best decisions I could with the information I had at the time. Holding onto hope through it all.
The day that Brittany moved to heaven was the hardest day of my life and one I wish no mother would have to feel. Yet there was still hope.
Today Brittany would be 22. I remember her laugh, her strength and bravery she had to fight through her illness, and the hope and light she gave this world. As I close my eyes for just a moment I see that little baby that God gave me and I continue to love her with every breath I take.
Happy Birthday to my Brittany, may you continue to give us all the hope we need to continue in this world without you. I love and miss you every moment of everyday!
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Hi, Angela! I don't know if you remember me, but this is Brian Thomann, the autistic person who posted here a couple years ago. Sorry I haven't reached out sooner; things have been so crazy. But I do check in to the blog every few days to see if anything is new. I wanted to let you know a funny story that reminded me of Brittany. While walking my dog, I ran into a few girls on the local regional girls hockey team here in Littleton, Colorado. They were wearing those nylon windbreaker suits that all the team members wear and were complaining how noisy they were to walk in! It got me thinking of Brittany and if she and her classmates experienced the same paincof wearing those! I know I did when I played basketball in high school. Anyway, I think of Brittany often and what an inspiration she is. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYes I do remember you Brian! Thank you for remembering my girl!! Brittany's friend used to play in Littleton :) Those suits are noisy and the girls would always make funny jokes about them. They embraced the funny! That is something Brittany always loved to do! Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
DeleteYou're so very welcome, Angela. I want to keep following the blog because Brittany sounds like a person who would have been a great friend to me. It's difficult to make friends with my diagnosis but I just know she would have been awesome. One thing the local girls and I agreed on: the windsuits made be loud, but they sure are comfy!
DeleteAnd I hope that deep down, she actually like wearing her windbreaker suit. Because she was a winner in anything she wore!
ReplyDeleteI agree! 💜🤗💜🤗💜
ReplyDelete💜💜💜🤗🤗 Does Butchie complain about the noisy outfits, too? 😂😂
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